|How To Read And Respond To A Man's “Emotional World”|
Learn how a man and a woman can emotionally “connect” in a more direct way and bypass a lot of wasted time in dating, arguments, rejection, hurt feelings, mini break-ups, etc. This ONE AREA OF MISUNDERSTANDING is the source of so many easily avoided problems and challenges that ruin budding relationships for smart, loving women with men, that it frustrates me to see it happen because it's so easy to fix once you “get it”. As you probably already know, men can be dangerous, or just plain ignorant, when it comes to dealing with their feelings and emotions. Here's a quick story along these lines that I've got to share with you … Several months ago I was invited to speak at a conference to around 200 men about dating and relationships. I thought it would be fascinating for all of us if we talked about how a man and a woman can emotionally “connect” in a more direct way and bypass a lot of wasted time in dating, arguments, rejection, hurt feelings, mini break-ups, etc… I knew that if men could have more awareness around this, and use the tools I had for them in my presentation to better connect with women, then they'd be a whole lot better off. (And so would the women they were dating!) As you might expect, I saw more than a few blank stares in the audience during this topic. It's not often you have a room full of men talking about how to better “emotionally connect” to a woman. Well, we were, and here's where it got even more FASCINATING… When I got to the end of my presentation, I decided to take some one-on-one questions from the guys in the audience. The first two were great questions from a couple of guys that I could tell got a lot out of the conversation. But then this third guy stood up. He looked like your average, nice, thoughtful, polite guy and had a soft and calculated voice. He quietly stood up, took the microphone and asked, “Excuse me… but um… what's a connection?” Wow! I was floored by the question… Not because I couldn't answer it, but because of what it meant about him, and about other men who were thinking the same. At that moment, I couldn't believe that a human being could actually not know what an emotional connection with another human being was. That still messes with my brain. Ok, maybe he actually WAS an alien. But here's the point … After thinking about it, I remembered that this guy who asked the question about a connection was really just another man, and not even much of an unusual one. And right then, as I thought about this, I had an AMAZING REALIZATION. All the thinking, research, writing and explaining that I've done in the past on how men are different when it comes to communication and relationships seemed to actually sell the idea short now that I had heard the truth “from the horse's mouth”. The way men understand (or don't understand) emotions, feelings, relationships and connection was even more extreme than I had thought (and I already thought the differences were pretty extreme.) Of course, after this happened, I scrambled for my journal, my notebook and my laptop to write down what started pouring out of me. I began digging even deeper into studies, research, interviews, observations, and experiences from my life so that I could explain exactly what this meant and what was really going on here inside the minds of most men. That's when a lot of my most recent material on emotional connection and what creates lasting and long term attraction in relationships with men was created. Lately, I like to ask women, “Have you ever taken the time to sit down and really and truly picture and imagine what it must be like to be an attractive and 'masculine' man?” Of course, the answer is always, “No.” Men might act emotionally strong, indifferent, and even cold, but most men are surprisingly fragile emotionally. The thing is… it's just not part of their more “masculine” make up to display or talk about these things much of the time and to avoid the opportunity they bring for connection and intimacy. Instead, they often express their emotions in more symbolic and indirect ways when it comes to dating and relationships, most women commonly misinterpret or react negatively to a man's “natural” emotional displays. Think about this. Attractive men who are smart, handsome, and successful are flirted with and approached all the time. These men have OPTIONS. And some of the more “needy” and desperate women who try for their attention have no idea whatsoever what it takes to get an attractive man's attention and KEEP IT. And even if these women do date a guy for a while and things “seem” good, if a woman doesn't understand how things work for HIM, and how his feelings are triggered without all the neediness, emotional pleading, sexual enticements, etc., then there's no way the man's going stay attracted and interested for the long term. It isn't “fair”, but if a woman doesn't understand how to create attraction, how a man's emotions open up and close off, and why … then a man just won't FEEL IT for her as time passes - even if the connection USED TO BE THERE. Understanding this mindset, how it affects a man's personality, and (this is key) what kinds of “games” men play to diplomatically and politely excuse themselves or withdraw from any future commitment is HIGHLY important. I know how frustrating it can be with what seems like so many “games” going on and so much to think about just for the simple feeling and sharing of love. And isn't true love supposed to just “happen” and be free of all this? Well, the thing is, once you start to understand more about a man's emotional world and how to help him tune into yours, it won't seem or feel like work to you at all. You'll be able to get back into that “flow” where love IS shared and expressed easily--and you will both start to naturally understand and fulfill each other. Instead of letting typical male “games” get to you, learn how to understand them so you can keep them from happening, and make them work FOR YOU if they do. If there's one thing that attractive men seem to respond to universally, it's A WOMAN WHO GETS WHAT'S GOING ON EMOTIONALLY for herself AND for him. THAT’S when a man will share his love with you. Being a woman who already “gets” what an emotional connection is, you're way ahead of the game with a man. Now you've got to learn exactly how to put that advantage to use in your love life for good. It’s time to learn to see things in a completely different way, which will lead to you becoming attractive to men for more than just a fling. Really. Your emotions and your ability and power to connect are your own set of “pre-wired tools”. All you need to do is start using them the right way.
|Last Post: May 30, 2018 at 03:36pm pdt||Started By: Kirsten Davey|